I've always been inordinately good at forgiving people. I'm not really sure why. I like to think that it's because I was saved at the age of 4 or 5 in VBS and even though we never went to church when I was growing up except at Easter and really didn't know the Bible at all, I had the Holy Spirit in my heart to instruct me and guide me. It's really amazing considering the warrior redneck family that I grew up in. My Mom could hold grudges like nobody's business and stop talking to people and never budge...ever. Never mind the ability she had to give the cold shoulder! I still shudder when I think about it. Actually, if there was Olympic event in that category, she would no doubt get the gold. And talk about a temper!! Whew! I've seen that woman beat up grown men and she used a pool cue on more than one occasion on guys that got out of line in her tavern. She once threw a television at my stepfather. Add in the fact that I grew up in a neighborhood where people's idea of working out their differences was to meet outside after school. I stuck out like a sore thumb. There was so much drama and violence going on in my own home that I wanted to go to school to get a break. Don't get me wrong, I had a temper. Still do, but most of time it was directed at inanimate objects until I discovered if I broke something I would not have it any longer. Very counter productive. But it's rare that I turn it on a person. I have to really be pushed. But I do have to admit that when it comes to my children or loved ones. Whew! If someone messes with one of them I definitely come unglued and it's not a pretty sight. You know that whole "seeing red" thing? Yep, it's true. Like a bull! Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. LOL!
Anyway, getting back to the subject of forgiveness. I don't know why it has always come easily to me but it has. Now don't get me wrong, forgiveness doesn't mean that we're going to necessarily embrace this person & be BFFs but, depending on the circumstances, it can mean that I can let go of the resentment, put it out of my mind and get on with my life. Not to mention what a wonderful witness it is.
So if we go about our daily lives proclaiming throughout the world that we are Christians but refuse to forgive, that is a serious sin, according to Jesus.
Here are some of the verses in the Bible that speaks about it:
Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (NIV)
Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (NIV)
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)
My Pastor says that whenever Jesus emphasized something this many times He was very serious. This was not a suggestions but a command. I once asked someone who claimed to be a Christian to forgive me. I didn't ask that person to admit to their part in the whole thing. I can only do what I'm told to do. After I did that this person told me, "I don't think I can forgive you right now".
Can you believe that? I have never told anyone that in my entire life. When my brother-in-law shot my sister to death, I forgave him. It doesn't mean I wrote to him in prison or even checked on him but it did free me to live my life without obsessing about him.
So the question bears asking, can you be a "real" Christian and not at least attempt to forgive others at all? Is it just another way to inflict more pain and continue a problem that I was trying to put an end to? That's what I think.
Lewis B. Smedes wrote in his book, Forgive and Forget, "When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself."
We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us. Learning how to forgive is one of the most unnatural duties in the Christian life.
It goes against our human nature. Forgiving is a supernatural act that Jesus Christ was capable of, but when we are hurt by someone, we want to hold a grudge. We want justice. Sadly, we don't trust God with that. There is a secret to successfully living the Christian life, however, and that same secret applies when we're struggling with how to forgive. it go when we have been unjustly hurt?
The answer lies in understanding the Trinity's role in forgiveness. Christ's role was to die for our sins. God the Father's role was to accept Jesus' sacrifice on our behalf and forgive us. Today, the Holy Spirit's role is to enable us to do those things in the Christian life we cannot do on our own, namely forgive others because God has forgiven us.
While I was writing this today, I did a lot of research on this and it was really fascinating. If you get a chance go online and check it out. By writing this and sharing it, it's helping me to deal with unforgiveness in my life. I don't want to be imprisoned in that place forever.
Let me know if you agree or share with me the ways you've found to deal with these things in your lives!
Love you guys!
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