My Late Son, Adam Laas.

It's my son, Adam's 39th birthday. I wish he was here for me to throw him a big party. I wish he was here for me to wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I love him. He's been gone since September 4, 2015. Almost 2 years. It seems like so much longer. I miss him so much.

He had a difficult life, he struggled with his demons and his addictions but he had a big, beautiful heart. He could be the most generous, loving, giving person you could ever meet. He was my big teddy bear. He would wrap me in those big arms of his and it was a wonderful place to be. Because of his addiction he did a lot of hurtful things, but I know that that wasn't him. It was the addiction. And all is forgiven.

I love all my children and I'm so thankful to God for each and every one of them, but you should never outlive your children. It leaves a large hole in your heart that never heals. That place that Adam inhabited is so empty. I have The Lord in my heart and I'm grateful that I do. But this is an entirely different feeling. I will not neglect an opportunity to tell my children and grandchildren how much I love them.  I will do everything I can to let them know how important they are to me. If I never see them again I want them to know unequivocally how much I love them and that nothing they could ever do will change that. 

Sometimes I don't get to see them as often as I would like but that doesn't change a thing. They are my heart.

Here's some pictures of my baby boy!

Happy Birthday, Baby! I hope you're having a big party up in heaven. I love you and I can't wait to see you again!